While it made for an entertaining hour in the House, this has all the hallmarks of an issue which will come back to trouble legislators again. "The assumption is that banning synthetic urine will make workplaces safe, and that is flawed, because banning synthetic urine won’t magically solve the problem," she said.Īnd with that, the Synthetic Urine Bill was flushed down the dunny, with just National’s 33 votes in favour. Taieri MP Ingrid Leary followed in Dr Craig’s footsteps in trying to find a good reason to oppose Mr Doocey’s Bill. "Dr Liz Craig looked like she was chewing a wasp, and I think we’re seeing a pattern emerging here where the whip’s sitting there, smirking away, because he knows Labour have been told - the backbenchers, the foot soldiers of this arrogant Government, have been told - to oppose every single good idea if it doesn’t come from them, and especially if it came from the National Party."
The screeny weeny free#
"But what it wouldn’t do, potentially, is address the underlying issues around impairment, and it wouldn’t make it any safer in terms of thinking through how that works."ĭunedin National Party list MP Michael Woodhouse, who earlier was busted in the House checking out the Screeny Weeny on his taxpayer-funded phone - feel free to cite this column if Parliamentary Services rings up to ask about your browsing history - was sure why Labour was against the Bill. "I think that this Bill and the proposal that it’s doing would put in place a complex regulatory regime in terms of who can import and who can make the products available. Labour list MP Liz Craig, of Invercargill, resisted the siren call of humour and made a sensible speech on workplace safety. "What party in Parliament wants a workplace where there is a legal product to circumvent the drug tests?" Mr Doocey asked.Ī reasonable question, but he was not going to get the answer he was after.Īs Waitaki MP Jacqui Dean watched on from the Speaker’s chair, several Southern MPs opted to take a call - not one of nature - on the Bill.
The screeny weeny driver#
Which sounds like a very wee number indeed, but that actually amounts to several hundred tests a year of people who have the desperation and the resources to invest in Monkey Whizz and the Screeny Weeny.Īnd those several hundred rorted tests take on greater significance should the employee in question be, say, a truck driver or forestry worker, industries with a high degree of risk and multiple safety related incidents annually. "Let us be very serious: this is a serious issue in New Zealand," he said seriously, before going on to state that the Drug Detection Agency found, on average, that 1% of its tests revealed the substance in question had not been fermented in someone’s bladder before being supplied to the agency for evaluation. Many members’ Bills read like solutions looking for problems, and Mr Doocey strained mightily to dissuade Parliament of that notion.
Unsurprisingly, this Bill was the subject of some hilarity, much of which was introduced by the sponsor of the Bill, National Party MP for Waimakariri Matt Doocey. It turns out that there really are multiple manufacturers providing fake urine - and anatomically correct machinery for dispensing the substance - for anyone willing to splash out on it.īe warned, if you feel inclined to google this subject you will see things which might haunt you for weeks afterwards. A discreet button is under the underside of the fake penis to trigger the flow with one hand, in the most natural way possible.It was, appropriately enough, a members’ day, as our MPs spent part of their evening debating the merits, or otherwise, of the Synthetic Urine (Prohibition on Importation, Supply and Acquisition to Pass a Workplace Drug Test) Bill.
2 pouches of synthetic urine are included in the kit as well as an empty pocket to practice, or even to fill with another person's urine. To ensure a perfect temperature, the kit includes a heating pad, which works by being heated in the microwave. The system includes a synthetic urine bag that attaches to a belt with an adjustable pocket that keeps the liquid warm.
Made entirely of high quality silicone, of the same grade used for cinematic make-up, this fake penis looks so convincing that it can be mistaken for the real thing! Handmade in Germany, it undergoes various quality controls, every detail is taken into account in the design of this fake penis. This fake silicone penis will allow you to "urinate" a liquid that is not your own urine during a drug test. The Cleanu ScreenyWeeny is now available in the Alchimia catalogue.
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